I am building this website and linking it to my social media platforms to share insights from my 40+ years of experience in the mental health and substance use/addiction field. Despite it being 2024, there remains a significant stigma surrounding mental health, mental illness, and substance use or addiction. I believe that the primary barriers to overcoming this stigma are deeply ingrained beliefs based on outdated information, misinformation, fear, and long-held myths. I often hear people confidently express opinions about the causes of mental illness and addiction, as well as what should be done about them. Unfortunately, much of this information is not only inaccurate but also potentially harmful. I believe education is the first and most crucial step in addressing these issues.
In addition, as a dedicated mental health and addiction professional, my goal is to provide information, based on my experience and education, to support individuals and families on their journeys toward healing and recovery. In addition to my passion for this work, I aim to develop this platform as a source of passive income, allowing me to continue expanding the resources available and reaching a wider audience. Transparency is important to me, and I want to be upfront about this aspect of my platform's growth.
Thank you for visiting! If you found the information on this site helpful, you can support my work by clicking the coffee cup icon at the bottom right of the page. Your support is greatly appreciated!
I began as a Seeker—not voluntarily, of course, and with much initial resistance. I was on the verge of joining the "Twenty-Seven Club." I had reached the age of 27 and had met all the criteria except for one: I hadn’t died. It quickly became clear that if I didn’t figure out what was wrong with me, and what to do about it, I would be joining those who had gone before me—and waiting for others to follow. No thanks. I didn’t want to be part of that club.
During my last hospitalization for detox, I encountered a unique group of people, also there for detox, who seemed to know me, even though we had never met. They could see what I had been denying for far too long. They had been where I was. Some began to share their stories—how they had ended up in that place. For some, it was their first time. For most, it wasn’t. To save myself, they said, I’d have a better chance if I followed the path they had taken. They also told me something that would change my life: that if I was to survive, one day at a time, in order to get it and keep it, I'd have to “give it away”. They also told me the reason they were back in the hospital was not because it didn't work, but because they got complacent and stopped applying the principles they'd learned one day at a time—every single day! It required a life-long commitment to a sober lifestyle, one day at a time.
I quickly learned the basics of what "it" was and what that meant. From the moment I was admitted to the hospital, people were giving me what they had. It was as if I had entered a different dimension—surrounded by people who, despite being at the lowest point in their lives, were optimistic and focused on helping me. Their energy was contagious. They gave freely, and I realized I had to start doing the same. I had become a Finder. Even before I fully understood what I had found, I was encouraged to give it away. I was told that the simple fact I had been clean and sober for 24 hours could offer hope to someone else—the newcomer who had taken their last drink that very morning. So, I started giving it away, offering it with optimism, hoping others would grab hold. In doing so, I grew my own optimism, one day at a time.
From that day—April 27, 1980, the day of my admission to that hospital, when I was seen by many as just a drunk with a drug problem—I followed the path that was laid out for me. Soon, I began working on one of the psychiatric units at the very hospital where I had detoxed. With the support of people who believed I could stay clean and sober and were willing to give me a chance, I started working in the addiction field at another hospital, this time as a counselor. I provided assessments, education, and counseling. Over time, I also dedicated 20 years to teaching graduate-level counseling courses at a local university.
Now, I’m embarking on a new chapter—focused on sharing what I’ve found. My goal is to offer the knowledge, insights, and wisdom I’ve gained through decades of helping and guiding others, as well as applying these lessons to my own recovery journey. My message is built on formal education, close to 25 years of hospital experience, almost 20 years in my own private counseling practice, my personal struggles with addiction and mental health, and the invaluable lessons I’ve learned from all the people I’ve encountered along the way."
The American Medical Association declared alcoholism a disease in 1956. In 1987 the American Medical Association declared that what is true for alcoholism is true for other forms of addiction.
The majority of addicts have what is commonly referred to as a "drug of choice" (DOC), which could be a substance or, in some cases, a behavior like gambling. However, in the absence of their DOC, most will settle for whatever is available. I once heard a doctor say that the nature of addiction is such that an addict will take "Tuinal, Amital, Adderall, Seconal, Demerol—anything at all!" This can also include alcohol, weed, gambling, sex, gaming, and more. In my opinion, if you're an addict and you stop using your drug of choice but continue using other mood-altering substances or engaging in addictive behaviors, you're at high risk of relapsing to your DOC
There are two primary reasons for this. First is the physiological nature of addiction. Substances like alcohol, marijuana, and cocaine, as well as behaviors like gambling, stimulate the brain's reward/pleasure center. For most people, this isn't a problem—they can moderate their use. Addicts, however, lose that ability. No matter what an addict's DOC is, if they stop using it but continue stimulating the pleasure center with other substances or behaviors, their physiology remains in active addiction.
Secondly, most addicts develop a lifestyle that accompanies their drug use. If they stop using their DOC but continue other addictive behaviors, their lifestyle is unlikely to change. How they socialize, problem-solve, have fun, or deal with relationships will remain the same.If you keep hanging out with your drinking buddies at your favorite hangout and say you're "just smoking a little weed, not drinking" your lifestyle isn't really changing. The way you socialize and problem-solve will stay the same—same lifestyle, same problems.
Eventually, you’ll return to your drug of choice and all the problems that came with it. I compare this mindset to that of a diabetic whose doctor warns them that if they continue eating ice cream, they’ll likely die soon. The diabetic responds by saying, "No more ice cream for me. From now on, I'm only eating donuts.
Good mental health requires focus on, and integration of:
Physical health
Mental health
Emotional health
Spiritual health
Social healthGain profound insights into mental health, addiction, and their impact on families through educational programs aimed at raising awareness and promoting positive change.
In my early recovery I had no faith whatsoever that my life would change. That was frightening. What I held onto was the hope that some semblance of faith would return. For me, hope became the foundation upon which everything else was built. Each person has to find that thing they can believe in at the beginning. Hope was my first "Higher Power".
While I have my own preference when it comes to building a supportive community, I have no interest in promoting any particular entity. The main point I want to emphasize is that all self-help or mutual-aid philosophies stress the importance of developing and maintaining a strong support system to address addiction. This concept has also extended into the mental health community, with groups like Emotions Anonymous adopting the same basic principles that are found in Alcoholics Anonymous.
Historically, this idea of communal support has been central to many world religions, where people come together to support each other in living according to a shared belief system. Regular “fellowship” reinforces the values and ways of life that are common within a particular group.
In addiction recovery, the most well-known “supportive community” is likely Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). Many other groups have followed AA’s “Twelve Step” philosophy, including Narcotics Anonymous (NA), Gamblers Anonymous, and Sex Addicts Anonymous, among others. There are also alternatives to 12-Step programs, such as SMART Recovery, LifeRing Secular Recovery, Women for Sobriety (WFS), Celebrate Recovery, and Secular Organizations for Sobriety (SOS). Additionally, many people achieve sobriety through support within their church communities.
Years ago, I embraced the belief that “whatever works” is the best approach to recovery. There is no “one size fits all” path. One person may find success in staying clean and sober by attending church, while another may find that a 12-Step group like Alcoholics Anonymous is their only reliable solution.
However, I believe there are approaches that would be unethical to recommend. From a professional standpoint, I advocate for abstinence from all potentially intoxicating substances. Therefore, I do not support groups like Moderation Management, which suggest that everyone can learn to drink safely. I also do not endorse any organization that employs shame and blame as methods of “helping,” or those that claim to be the “only way” to recovery.
AMA (Ask Me Anything), comments, suggestions, topics of interest. Anything at all!
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WARNING SIGNS
1-EARLY ONSET
Starting to use intoxicating substances at a young age greatly increases the risk of addiction, especially if underlying physiological vulnerability is present. This risk is particularly high when use begins in pre-adolescence or early adolescence. Two critical aspects highlight this red flag.
The first aspect concerns the physiological and genetic components of addiction. When substance use begins early, it can activate the biological mechanisms of addiction sooner.
Many of the individuals I’ve worked with who struggle with addiction began using substances through what is termed "spontaneous onset." This means their initial use was not driven by peer pressure or social activity but occurred simply because the substance was accessible and they decided to experiment.
After the initial experience, they felt a desire to repeat it, gradually establishing a regular pattern of use. This pattern often intensifies in the middle to late teen years as more peers begin experimenting with substances.
The second aspect involves the behavioral component of addiction, which can significantly impact social and emotional development.
According to Erik Erikson’s “Stages of Psychosocial Development”, the fifth stage, "Identity vs. Role Confusion," typically occurs between the ages of 12 and 18. However, due to recent social changes, this stage may begin as early as age 10 for some.
This is a critical period, during which individuals develop a sense of personal identity and direction. At this stage, socializing with friends becomes increasingly important. Adolescents begin exploring different roles, interests, and lifestyles to discover what feels authentic, which is a natural part of identity formation. They may try new activities, make new friends, and experiment with various beliefs.
Initially, these activities are exciting on their own, and with healthy development, they naturally evolve into a broader range of social and personal interests.
For many teens, however, this healthy development can take a risky turn. When introduced to intoxicating substances—often alcohol or marijuana—they experience an added layer of excitement and stimulation.
Some enjoy the feeling of being under the influence, while others find excitement in being part of a group or the thrill of rebellion. Regardless, outings like going to the mall, the skate center, or the movies now take on a new dimension. If this added thrill is rewarding, they may start to repeat the experience more frequently.
In the future, engaging in these activities without the substance may feel less enjoyable. While this doesn’t necessarily indicate addiction, it can lead to habitual patterns of social interaction that are challenging to change.
For those who have the disease of addiction, this habitual behavior aspect greatly complicates recovery.
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